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faith

6 Reasons Why I Struggle at Entrepreneurship

My journey to becoming an entrepreneur has been a struggle. I  recently was listening to a person speak on Periscope and they were talking about their journey in entrepreneurship. It got me to thinking about why am I still REALLY STRUGGLING? Why am I still in the same place I was a year ago? These thoughts led me to these five reasons.

The number one thing I struggle with is CONSISTENCY. Just like many of you reading this I started my year with a list of goals, hyped and ready to crush them. I don’t think I made it to March before I was in my feelings and questioning myself and losing motivation. Thus making post sporadic and social media promotion nonexistent. Then, as I got my emotions in check I began to work again and the cycle would repeat itself.

Speaking of EMOTIONS I let them drive my ability to get things done. Many days I would DOUBT my ability to get things accomplished because I was busy concerned about what I didn’t have which pushed me down the rabbit hole of depression. Instead of making a daily effort to stick with the plan and utilize what I did have to achieve the goals that I made months prior I just let it all fall apart.

My emotional unraveling usually was sparked by COMPARING myself to the women that I admire or reading all the accomplishments people would post on social media. Thus leading me to not believe that I was ill-equipped and that there wasn’t a place for my voice and gifts to be utilized in the world. These distractions have kept me from creating my own content because I was focusing on what I didn’t have and comparing myself to others. In hindsight, it was really like comparing apples to oranges.

Another part that has been hard to deal with is the lack of IMMEDIATE FINANCIAL REWARD. It’s hard when you need the money to come through and you are listening to all of these other people talk about their financial wins. I have gotten discouraged because I’ve heard of varied levels of success people have received, some within months of starting their business and for others, it has taken years. Naturally, I want and honestly, on some level, I need my financial wins now. I know it could happen because it has happened for others but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen. Learning how to keep going and water the seed because it might take a little more TLC in order for it grows is easier said than done.

Which has led me to question what I should be doing because I have SEVERAL BUSINESS IDEAS.  I have all these business ideas and when the blog hasn’t produced fruit I turn my attention to another idea but that becomes short-lived because I need seed money in order to get the next idea off the ground. Thus, causing me to return to my original plan and the cycle repeats again.

The last but also important contributing factor adding to my struggle is not surrounding myself with LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE. Many of the business people I listen to and interact with are from a distance through FB groups, online classes, and Periscope. None of these people are friends or personal mentors. So, in my everyday life, I don’t have anyone in my immediate friend or familial circle who is really pursuing the path of entrepreneurship. While they are supportive but none of them know the daily mental and emotional struggle I deal with on this journey.

I’m sure in the last 10 months I have repeated this cycle at least three times. Now that I know WHY I’M STRUGGLING. I’ve come up with a SOLUTION which is simple. For the next three months, I am going to stick with it come hell or high water. I’ve already come up with a plan so I just need to execute it. Next, which I have already started is to limit my time on social media. I’ll use it only to conduct business on my own behalf and not to look at others. Third, I’m really interested in starting or joining a local mastermind group. I need accountability and need access to business savvy minds. 

I’m not ashamed of my struggles and neither should you but we both must proactively seek discipline in order to produce the results we desire.

Related Article: I Need to Get My Faith Up

Live Shamelessly and Strive for Success!

 

business, Faith, life lessons

I Need to Get My Faith Up

This past weekend I had the opportunity to volunteer for The Merge Summit. The Merge Summit is a bi-yearly conference where over 60 entertainers, pastors, and executives come together to share their wisdom on how to maintain their Faith and work in the entertainment industry.

As a volunteer, I didn’t get a chance to attend many of the workshops because I was busy serving. However, the biggest take away from the things I did hear, was the running them of Faith. But not any old Faith, but a consistent Faith that needs to be coupled with action. The Bible says that “Faith without works is dead.” When pursuing your dreams, passions, and destiny you must consistently believe that you will win the race, but it just might not happen when or how you desire it. I’ve heard many times before and I have to tell myself repeatedly because I want something to happen now.

I realized that I am a faith flip-flopper. Some days I’m believing like nobody’s business and then something happens and I can’t find any of it, not even a mustard seed. Part of the reason that I flip flop is that I look around to friends and strangers who have the blessings I’ve been praying for. I then began to think that God isn’t going to do it for me because he is already doing it for someone else. Or, He loves them more than me, or my life will be filled with struggle because he doesn’t love me as much.

Have you ever had those thoughts?

I know God loves me and part of the reason that my prayers haven’t been answered is that my faith isn’t consistent. I literally was on a faith high the morning of the last day of the summit to only be in a sea of unbelief by the end of the day. If this continues I’ll never reach my desires because I’ll continually be starting and stopping.

I need to toughen up mentally. I need to pray and read my Bible daily. I need to speak my desires into existence and work consistently.  I need to get my faith up so I can live the BEST life God has for me, so I can become a living witness not only for others but especially for my son.

Related Article: 10 Things You Should Know About The Wait

Faith up and Live Shamelessly!

life lessons

10 Things You Should Know About The Wait (Book Review)

 

The Wait is Finally Over….The Wait Book Review

After being on backorder for several weeks and then life getting in the way, I am now actually able to review DeVon Franklin and Megan Good’s book, The WaitThe Wait is the first-hand account of how Hollywood producer DeVon Franklin and actress Megan Good met and dated while practicing celibacy until they married. I know somewhere someone might be clutching their perils because you thought Steve Harvey’s 90-day rule was hardcore. Well, the Franklins’ take their readers beyond that rule by teaching them how waiting until marriage to have sex can benefit your entire life not just your sex life. DeVon and Megan are both Christians and their faith had everything to do with them approaching dating in this manner.

Here are 10 Things You Should Know About The Wait:

  1. The book is not written in a preachy, religious tone. It is written based on having a spiritual connection with God and dating according to the principles of the Bible. Which include biblical scriptures and prayers to help readers along their relationship journey. However, it does not judge or condemn readers to hell if they fall short of perfection. No fire and brimstone here, just teaching you how to suppress the fire down under until you get God’s all clear.
  2. The Wait is a lifestyle. The self-control and steps needed to control sexual urges to focus on getting to really know the person you are dating can be applied to all aspects of your life. Once you begin to shift your focus to your finances, career, health, family, friends, etc. you begin to open yourself up to finding out more about yourself and improving those areas of your life.
  3. Self-love is essential before you can become a part of a “we” they emphasize the need to take care of the “you” first. DeVon and Megan share how their individual decisions to wait helped them get some issues in their personal lives straight before they met and while they dated.
  4. We all fall down. Both DeVon and Megan are clear that they are not perfect and neither are their readers. They suggest that their readers be gentle and understanding with themselves as they take on a new way of living. If you fall or stumble off course, get back up and start over again. Do you remember Donnie McClurkin’s song We Fall Down? Well, it applies to this situation as well.
  5. This is an easy read with practical advice. This book doesn’t require that you be a Bible scholar to read it, so no need to pull out your concordance. Also, the information that they speak of is sensible and practical. For example, if you’re trying not to have sex then maybe you shouldn’t Netflix and Chill. Instead, maybe you should get with a group and chill instead.
  6. Be open to go beyond your list. We all at some point have a list of attributes and characteristics that we would like our mate to have. Well, what if who you are destined to be with is packaged a little differently than you initially preferred, or wasn’t what you typically dated? DeVon and Megan admit that both had attributes on their lists that at another stage in their lives they might not have initially dated each other. He didn’t want to date an actress and she didn’t want to date a preacher (DeVon is a preacher in addition to being a producer.). However, beyond their occupations, they had so much more in common, that they would have missed otherwise.
  7. Marriage is more than sex. There is much more to marriage outside of what’s done in the bedroom. There is a need to have intellectual, spiritual, and emotional chemistry too. However, physical chemistry many times interferes with being able to see if the spiritual, intellectual, and emotional chemistry are present. It is about completing the purpose God has designed for you two as a couple to complete.
  8. Get off the hamster wheel of the same old same. If you historically been a lover of the tall, dark, and handsome bad boy then maybe it is time to switch it up a little bit and give the cute, short, light-skinned dentist a chance. (I mean look at Ciara, theory tested and proven.) Leading with the celibacy card might stop some of those bad boys you use to love in their tracks thus giving you a chance to try someone new.
  9. You haven’t missed your chance at love. Society continually reiterates to us that there if you haven’t married by a certain age then your chances are dwindling with every day that you remain single. Thus creating a sense of desperation and feeling that you have to settle. That is totally untrue. As matter of a fact, DeVon says that God has predestined more than one person that we could be compatible with not just the one prince or “soul mate” as dictated by fairytales. Due to choices, (permissive will), we make the person God may have initially for us my change because they or we didn’t mature enough time for our paths to meet or made choices that altered the destiny of the two of you meet.
  10. Date responsibly. Just like you may work several jobs or try several careers before finding the one that you were meant to do. The same with dating. Just because you are waiting to have sex doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t date. Be honest from the beginning about waiting and don’t put yourself in situations where waiting can turn into waited.

Overall, this book was a good read. They didn’t reinvent any dating principles you haven’t heard before on some level, but they give the spiritual reasoning and connectivity behind dating. They also didn’t reveal too many deep details about their marriage. It kind of reminded me of a Beyoncé interview because everything they mention is exactly what they said in the press during the book tour. So, if you thinking this going to be riddled with juicy details and tidbits you will be dry with disappointment. I say if you are trying to have a new approach to dating and are interested in finding more information about waiting then read this book. If you are already celibate then you should read it to learn how to start dating again and how to maintain your faith as you wait on God’s timing.

Remember follow God’s plan for your life and Live Shamelessly!

dating/love, Faith, life lessons

You Just Need to Get Pregnant

One Saturday my son told me that “You just need to get pregnant.” This is not the first time he has said some variation of those words to me nor will it be the last I’m sure. Since he has been about four and a half, maybe five he has been on my back to get married and have more babies. He has been very consistent, like auntie Betty at the family reunion all in your mix asking  “When you gonna give that baby a brother or sister” persistent.

Over the last few months, he has decided that the barbershop will be the place of choice to recruit my breeding partner and better half. On our first visit to the shop my son took a quick observation of the shop and whispered to me “Mom you can find a husband here.” I was so embarrassed. I looked around to make sure that no one heard him. The second time he made some comments that escape my memory however, it was still something along the lines of  “Aye girl if you gonna find a man the time is now.” To lessen the pressure and guilt I was feeling from being borderline pimped out by my own son, so I sent my mom on haircut duty. That only lasted a few weeks because she started taking classes on Saturday.

Recently, the heat has been on and again but this time he is getting more specific. So, now I guess he’s thought about it and I can’t just marry anybody in the barbershop. He tells me as I sit three feet away from his barber that  I should date him. Now, his barber is attractive I’ll give him that. But what he doesn’t realize there will be no mixing of business and pleasure in this household. So, as we leave out of the shop I tell him that I think his barber is married and he needs to drop this bright idea of his. He tells me “No he’s not.” I say, “How do you know”? He laughs. I tell him that he doesn’t know anything, and he tells me he was going to ask him next time.

The next appointment rolls around and I notice my son is being a little more chatty than usual and trying to insert his young self into adult conversation with the fellas. He smiles at me which isn’t abnormal but I mouth “Be quiet” to ward off any slick matchmaker tendencies that might have been stirred up.  When we got home later that day I told my family about his latest escapade. My sister asked him what was he and the barber was talking about while he was in the chair. He said, “I asked *James if he was gonna put a ring on it.” See, I can’t with him (shaking my head while I type).

Two weeks ago, we were walking to the car from the barbershop and my son says, “Mom it’s kind of weird that my dad cuts my hair.” We both laughed and then I told him to shut up and get in the car. Most people go to the barbershop for just a haircut but my kid is more concerned about getting me hooked up with somebody, anybody that will give him the little sister and brother he has been harassing me about. Little does he know I’m fine with just him, plus I don’t want to go looking for a new barbershop. We are from Chicago but we are not related to Bishop Magic Don Juan, so I need this little mister to slow up with his pimp game and let Jesus take the wheel.

* Name was changed 

Update: Since the initial publishing of this post the barber has gotten married to someone else and it was not me.

Carry on and Live Shamelessly!

dating/love, motherhood, Story time
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