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Fall into Forgiveness

Fall into Forgiveness

Why forgiveness starts with you

It is almost officially fall, I know I’m a little early. But I know it chilly somewhere around the country. Any who, I just wanted to take a few minutes to encourage you that if you’re going to fall for or into any thing as the year wraps up, let it be forgiveness. Forgive yourself for every time you misspoke or when you didn’t speak enough or when you had to give your kids the “no’ they weren’t expecting. Sis, you have to stop being so critical of yourself. You are one person doing the job of ten at any given time of the day, sometimes even in your sleep (that’s for my overthinkers). Women and mothers play important roles in society, therefore we cannot afford to continuously beat and batter ourselves when we do not get it right. Forgiveness is good for the soul. Forgiveness leads to freedom. Forgiveness reminds you are an imperfect person, so needing to receive it and give should not be a surprise. Forgiveness leads to happiness. Forgiveness leads to peace of mind and spirit. Forgiveness is apart of the process of love.

You know what’s even crazier, God forgave you before you did or didn’t do whatever requires that you be forgiven in the first place. If the Creator, author and finisher, judge and jury can extend grace to you, then why can’t you act a little more gracious towards yourself? If you don’t who will? Just as a reminder, if you can’t forgive yourself why would the people who love you forgive you? Then we wonder why familial relationships are strained and broken…because of lack of forgiveness. The more you are able to forgive yourself the more you will be able to forgive others. That is not to dismiss that some things will require more time to forgive than others but as long as you reach the point of forgiveness is what matters. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you have to keep in contact. It’s more about you internally letting go of being wronged, hurt, abused, and broken.  Let’s stop perpetuating the cycle and teach our children how to receive and give forgiveness by reflecting it in our daily lives.

I love you sis! God loves you! Don’t forget to LOVE and FORGIVE YOURSELF!

Don’t forget to share this with a sister-mom that needs a little reminder.

 

Inspiration/faith, Parenting, Womanhood/adulting

Faith is Essential for Success

 

This past weekend I had the opportunity to volunteer for The Merge Summit. The Merge Summit is a bi-yearly conference where over 60 entertainers, pastors, and executives come together share their wisdom on how to maintain their faith and work in the entertainment industry.

As a volunteer I didn’t get a chance to attend many of the workshops because I was busy serving. However, the biggest take away from the things I did hear, was the running them of faith. But not any old faith, but a consistent faith that needs to be coupled with action. The Bible says that “Faith without works is dead.” When pursuing your dreams, passions, and destiny you must consistently believe that you will win the race, but it just might not happen when or how you desire it. Which I’ve heard many times before and I have to tell myself repeatedly because I want somethings to happen now.

I realized that I am a faith flip flopper. Some days I’m believing like nobody’s business and then something happens and I can’t find any of it, not even a mustard seed. Part of the reason that I flip flop is because I look around to friends and strangers a like who have the blessings I’ve been praying for. I then began to thinking that God isn’t going to do it for me because he is already doing it for someone else. Or, He loves them more than He me, or my life will be filled with struggle because he doesn’t love me as much.

Have you ever had those thoughts?

I know God loves me and part of the reason that my prayers haven’t been answered is because my faith isn’t consistent. I literally was on a faith high the morning of the last day of the summit to only be in a sea of unbelief by the end of the day. If this continues I’ll never reach my desires because I’ll continually be starting and stopping.

I need to toughen up mentally. I need to pray and read my Bible daily. I need to speak my desires into existence and work consistently.  I need to get my faith up so I can live the BEST life God has for me, so I can become a living witness not only for others but especially for my son.

Related Article: 10 Things You Should Know About The Wait

Faith up and Live Shamelessly!

Inspiration/faith

10 Things You Should Know About The Wait (Book Review)

 

The Wait is Finally Over….The Wait Book Review

After being on back order for several weeks and then life getting in they way, I am now actually able to review DeVon Franklin and Megan Good’s book, The WaitThe Wait is the first hand account of how Hollywood producer DeVon Franklin and actress Megan Good met and dated while practicing celibacy until they married. I know somewhere someone might be clutching their perils because you thought Steve Harvey’s 90 day rule was hardcore. Well, the Franklins’ take their readers beyond that rule by teaching them how waiting until marriage to have sex can benefit your entire life not just your sex life. DeVon and Megan are both Christians and their faith had everything to do with them approaching dating in this manner.

Here are 10 Things You Should Know About The Wait:

  1. The book is not written in a preachy, religious tone. It is written based on having a spiritual connection with God and dating according to the principles of the Bible. Which include biblical scriptures and prayers to help readers along their relationship journey. However, it does not judge or condemn readers to hell if they fall short of perfection. No fire and brimstone here, just teaching you how to suppress the fire down under until you get God’s all clear.
  2. The Wait is a life style. The self-control and steps needed to control sexual urges to focus on getting to really know the person you are dating can be applied to all aspects of your life. Once you begin to shift your focus to your finances, career, health, family, friends, etc. you begin to open yourself up to finding out more about yourself and improving those areas of your life.
  3. Self-love is essential before you can become a part of a “we” they emphasize the need to take care of the “you” first. DeVon and Megan share how their individual decisions to wait helped them get some issues in their personal lives straight before they met and while they dated.
  4. We all fall down. Both DeVon and Megan are clear that they are not perfect and neither are their readers. They suggest that their readers be gentle and understanding with themselves as they take on a new way of living. If you fall or stumble off course, get back up and start over again. Do you remember Donnie McClurkin’s song We Fall Down? Well, it applies to this situation as well.
  5. This is an easy read with practical advice. This book doesn’t require that you be a Bible scholar to read it, so no need to pull out your concordance. Also, the information that they speak of is sensible and practical. For example, if your trying to not to have sex then maybe you shouldn’t Netflix and Chill. Instead maybe you should get with a group and chill instead.
  6. Be open to go beyond your list. We all at some point have a list of attributes and characteristics that we would like our mate to have. Well, what if who you are destined to be with is packaged a little differently than you initially preferred or wasn’t what you typically dated? DeVon and Megan admit that both had attributes on their lists that at another stage in their lives they might would not have initially dated each other. He didn’t want to date an actress and she didn’t want to date a preacher (DeVon is a preacher in addition to being a producer.). However, beyond their occupations they had so much more in common, that they would have missed otherwise.
  7. Marriage is more than sex. There is much more to marriage outside of what’s done in the bedroom. There is a need to have intellectual, spiritual and emotional chemistry too. However, the physical chemistry many times interferes with being able to see if the spiritual, intellectual and emotional chemistry are present. It is about completing the purpose God has designed for you two as a couple to complete.
  8. Get of the hamster wheel of the same old same. If you historically been a lover of the tall, dark and handsome bad boy then maybe it is time to switch it up a little bit and give the cute, short, light skinned dentist a chance. (I mean look at Ciara, theory tested and proven.) Leading with celibacy card might stop some those bad boys you use to love in their tracks thus giving you a chance to try someone new.
  9. You haven’t missed your chance at love. Society continually reiterates to us that there if you haven’t married by a certain age then your chances are dwindling with every day that you remain single. Thus creating a since of desperation and feeling that you have to settle. That is totally untrue. As matter of a fact, DeVon says that God has predestined more than one person that we could be compatible with not just the one prince or “soul mate” as dictated by fairytales. Due to choices, (permissive will), we make the person God may had initially for us my change because they or we didn’t mature enough time for out paths to meet or made choices that altered the destiny of the two of you meeting.
  10. Date responsibly. Just like you may work several jobs or try several careers before finding the one that you were meant to do. The same with dating. Just because you are waiting to have sex doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t date. Be honest from the beginning about waiting and don’t put yourself in situations where waiting can turn into waited.

Overall, this book was a good read. They didn’t reinvent any dating principles you haven’t heard before on some level, but they give the spiritual reasoning and connectivity behind dating. They also didn’t reveal too many deep details about their marriage. It kind of reminded me of a Beyoncé interview because everything they mention is exactly what they said in the press during the book tour. So, if you thinking this going to be riddled with juicy details and tid bits you will be dry with disappointment. I say if you are trying to have a new approach to dating and are interested finding more information about waiting then read this book. If you are already celibate then you should read it to learn how to start dating again and how maintain your faith as you wait on God’s timing.

Remember follow God’s plan for your life and Live Shamelessly!

Inspiration/faith

I Quit

 

I Quit My Job

This week marks the third week that I officially quit my job and went into business for myself. Yeah you heard me, I went cold turkey. I went in with all the intentions of it being a regular day but somewhere between a student eating chips in class and using the floor as the garbage can for her trash and got mad when I called her out on it or the student who called me a bitch underneath her breath (she was 8th grade “bad”, not grown woman ready) as she walked out of class or maybe the straw finally broke  when the class who were suppose to be playing math games on their iPads but instead they decided to have a photo shoot. Instead of yelling, begging, or blowing my whistle I calmly decided that I wasn’t going to use the end of my day to write people up and call home. Nope. I decided to write my letter of resignation, effective immediately. I had to pull a Cam Newton and silently walk out.

Why I quit?

I quit my job because I wasn’t suppose to be educator in the formal setting. Seven years ago, I entered the education field after completing my Master’s degree in journalism because I had a two-year-old at home that needed his mom to be around and constant. Not jetting setting to take interviews and bouncing from city to city trying to advance her career. I’ve always wanted to teach at the collegiate level and I needed experience so I thought teaching a few years of high school English would build my resume and begin my career at the university level. In the meantime I would have a schedule similar to my son who would be school age in a few years. I was sooo wrong! To make a long story short I convinced myself teaching was practical and made sense, which it did. However, all these years and misery later, I can honestly say I have been scared to write full-time out of fear of failure and the lack of economic instability that associated with it.  As I made the decision to leave my last job, it wasn’t done lightly. As a matter of fact I wanted to leave like a week into but I talked myself of it and then I put my initial resignation in after the Thanksgiving holiday, that would give my administrators Christmas break or the time prior to that a chance to find a replacement. I let them convinced me to stay. After, being back a week and day since the Christmas break, and took a leap of faith. A leap that I dared to take because when I think about my life it’s not the first time I taken this leap but the first time I was totally aware of what I was doing.

I know you’re thinking about what about bills? Truth be told it was a struggle to pay the bills when I was making a salary because I was not getting paid my worth and I was still robbing Peter to pay Paul. So, if I might as well work for someone who values me and who will make sure that I’m paid what I’m worth, who better than myself. In regards to the bills, Paul and Peter are still here but I’m believing that I’m have these gentlemen by the name of Ulysses, Ben, and all their friends to join me on my journey to living my dreams and walking in my purpose.

Now what?

Basking in peace

Since I quit my job I’ve been more at peace. I have not been as agitated at home or anywhere. Which is one thing I definitely didn’t have before. I use to dread going to work. Now I wake knowing that whatever the day brings I’ll be fine.

Becoming a better mom

I’ve said “yes” more. The following monday, after I left my job my son asked if we could stay after to school and participate in Family Fitness Night. I was about to say no but I said why not. It was nice to hold his hand and laugh as we skipped around the playground area. I remember looking at him telling him “you matter too.” It felt good not to have to rush home but live in the moment and make him smile. Or, on sunday enjoy an afternoon in the park and getting yogurt just because we can.

Expanding my writing chops

I’ve also been able to focus most of my attention on the blog and work on other writing projects I have been collaborating on. As recent as saturday, I got the offered the  opportunity to now write as a contributing writer for another blog.

Walking in faith

I am doing the groundwork to make sure that my businesses are successful but most importantly resting in faith that success and failure are already part of the plan. I just got to adhere to God’s purpose and he has the rest. He didn’t reignite my passion and confidence to write and have me relocate across the country to keep an old mindset rooted in fear.

Some might say I’m crazy but stay along for the ride to see how this plays out. One day, I’m going to Dab, Nae-Nae, and Quan, it all up and down my purpose driven success.

Subscribe and follow the journey. Live Shamelessly!

Related Article: Quitting My Dream

Inspiration/faith